welcome

i was back in that familiar headspace but there must have been some noise in that room because i had the back-of-the-head pain that was so familiar and i knew, it was not due to lack of caffeine because i was on my second cup of coffee. i wondered, perhaps it was the second cup that was not causing this ache.

nonetheless, i did not wish to bring to the present that which could be left for the future and i found myself writing once again as one does when there is nothing else to do.

the coffee shop was noisy, and hotter than i expected. it was saturated with chatter and focus, perhaps distraction in my case and in my proximity. the caffeine content of the latte must have been up there because there is a knot that's formed in my chest.

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to be more coherent, it is interesting to think about the time before i began practicing buddhism in earnest. it feels like a long time ago but in reality it has only been around 10 months.

perhaps, i was a different person before. in the early stages of my practice, this idea of whether i was experiencing a change was more important because i imagine i was more attached to the idea of myself. so naturally, i wondered whether 'i' was making progress. however, it has now become clearer to me that while the 'i' may have changed, there is something that has never changed.